It seems I’ve reached a kind of block with this Substack, wherein I only update as a reflection at the end of the year. I would like to vow to post more consistently in 2024, but I refuse to make promises to anyone but myself, and my plate for Q1 is already quite full. All I can tell you is that this will not be the last transmission. This newsletter started as a pet project mid-lockdown and was originally meant to serve only my own satisfaction, but as I am a human being, I find feedback and encouragement addicting.
I did not write much outside my own journal this year, although I did publicly perform personal essays on two occasions (an exercise in facing my fears - highly recommended), one on tragedy in February and one about the naked dress in November. I considered publishing the pieces here but ultimately I cannot resist the ephemerality of letting them die on the stage. Everything is too accessible these days. As Baudrillard said, it’s a “pornography of information and communication”. Let’s bring back gatekeeping in 2024.
The back half of this year was pretty persistently wretched, and though I won’t bore you with the details, I can say that I am truly grateful for the clean slate of a new year, however arbitrary.
In celebration of this and contemplation of the year past, I present to you a rather placid and shallow REPORT, in a style popularized on Tiktok. Something that app has instilled in me is that I am a woman of exquisite taste, if nothing else. Now I share this gift with you, dear reader - some sources of delight in the year from heck:
Reading
Jane Bowles Two Serious Ladies
I reread this for an aborted book club with my friends Tess (miss you, Tess) and Erica, and appreciated it even more the second time around. I cherish Jane Bowles for her tortured moralism and her charming dialogue. This is a singular novel in its depiction of women who submit to experiences, sometimes helplessly and sometimes mirthfully. It’s so so funny and beautiful and poignant and strange. You must read it immediately.
Truman Capote Answered Prayers
This is the book that was Capote’s downfall, and if you enjoy gossip, you will devour it like I did. Perhaps try not to enjoy gossip as much as Capote did, however, or you may meet a similar fate to his: loneliness and abjection. Gore Vidal called his death “a wise career move”, and it’s hard to disagree with such harsh words, considering what happened to him after publication of the short stories within this book. Four of the stories ran in Esquire magazine, beginning with "La Côte Basque 1965", in which a character based on his friend William Paley has a one-night stand, and tries to keep it hidden from his wife (the real life socialite Babe Paley). Although embellished, these shorts betrayed the confidences of his dearest friends, among them the Paleys, Lee Radziwill, Gloria Vanderbilt and Slim Keith, who had old money and celebrity on their side. As with modern day reality television, their pain is ultimately our pleasure, and reading salacious tales about people from 50 years ago is pretty guiltless if you ask me.
Make sure to read this in preparation for the upcoming Ryan Murphy-produced miniseries Feud: Capote Vs The Swans, and keep these words in mind as you make your 2024 vision boards:
"More tears are shed over answered prayers than unanswered ones."
E ating
I spent part of January and February in Los Angeles, where I tried Kin Euphorics, Bella Hadid’s alcohol alternative nootropic soda, and what can I say, I quite literally drank the koolaid. The vibe is impeccable. If Kin was distributed in Canada I would consume 90% less alcohol.
My birthday dinner at the downtown location of Piano Piano - not remarkable for its flavor, as most of my party were on mushrooms and didn’t taste a bite, and not for its ambiance, although they put us in a private vestibule enclosed with heavy floral velvet curtains that canopied elegantly overhead - but for the company and conversation. I remember some speculation about the size of the eggs in our wombs, which is a topic that should be discussed more often, frankly!
Many, many cones of soft serve, most from Bar Ape, one of this cities greatest seasonal treasures. If you are not experiencing the delight of a weekly ice cream ritual during the summer, you are not properly living! Their flavors change weekly and it is the perfect date destination. Go for a walk with your lover next August and get a sour cherry/brown butter twist. I know that feels like an eternity away but it’s something to long for! This culture has lost its taste for longing and must be weaned back onto it.
The pseudo-90s health spa fare at this completely charming Austrian restaurant where I dined with my best friend after visiting a pumpkin patch outside of the city in October. I’m so sorry but I am going to gatekeep this for no reason other than pure selfishness. I’m sure you can figure it out. I ordered consommé, chicken salad served in half a cantaloupe and beer. Sun streamed into the room and I smiled even as I felt the first sinus tickle of an autumn cold.
Playing
This spring I decided to join the youth on TikTok. Instagram is stale and the algorithm punishing so I appreciated a fresh new app to submit to. I am having a lot of fun there and experiencing more substantiation than I have in all my years of social media. A couple of my most viral videos include one lambasting Chanel, and this gift guide for esoteric girls. Join us, won’t you?
Obsessing
This menu from a Vogue book on diet from the 80s:
Big Biba, the most incredible department store in history!
(I also made a Tiktok about this) In general, I think society is ready for the return of the department store.
The fact that someone on Tiktok told me I look like Carolyn Bessette Kennedy!
This Amber Valletta look from the 90s (I think it’s Isaac Mizrahi?) which I want to wear on New Year’s Eve:
and also this Isaac Mizrahi look:
and also this one:
He deserves his flowers! Watch Unzipped (1995) if you havent.
Recommending
If you believe we deserve better than Saltburn, watch this serial. In my opinion, it is an historic example of prestige television and the greatest literary adaptation ever made. It is also a primary guidebook to longing, which as I said before, is due for a comeback. It follows the protagonist Charles Ryder (played by Jeremy Irons) from the 1920s to the early 1940s —mainly comprising his relationship with The Flytes, a family of wealthy English Catholics who reside in a palatial mansion called Brideshead. Yes, Saltburn is a very loose adaptation of the book as well and no, I’m not happy about it.
I love Jeremy Irons’ face and his unparalleled ability to convey disdain, discomfort, patheticness, and withering disappointment. I also love Anthony Andrews as Sebastian, the childish fop and object of Charles’ affection. When the serial was released in the 80s, college age men began carrying teddy bears in imitation of this character. Honorable mention goes to Nickolas Grace as Anthony Blanche, the stuttering and flamboyant aesthete friend of Sebastian, who delivers the pithiest dialogue with comic aplomb. Lines like, “Where do you lurk? I shall come down your burrow and chivvy you out like an old stoat.”
The interiors are delicious, all British Old Money regency greens and pinks, and though everyone in the film is supremely unhappy, it is such a cozy watch.
Visually memorable scenes:
When Sebastian stuffs Charles’ dormitory full of daffodils
When Sebastian fills a nest with plovers eggs for breakfast
When a suitor of Julia Flyte gifts her a tortoise with a rhinestone-encrusted back
Now doesn’t that sound delightful?
T reating
Myself to some rest and relaxation!
It’s bath season, and my favourite tub recipe lately entails this Japanese spa soak, Epsom salts, a tall glass of lemon water, medieval harp music, candlelight and awaiting me on the other side: clean sheets and Kalaya extra strength pain relief lotion. I am in my rehabilitation spa era. This is as close as I’ll probably ever get to Lanserhof sylt!
Thank you for joining me for THE ROMANTIC ARCHIVIST, the newsletter in service of those seeking beauty and modernity. Do you have a comment or concern? A burning issue with which you require guidance? Please forward any and all queries to romanticarchivist@gmail.com! And please, like, share and subscribe if you enjoyed reading!
Miss you angel!!! has such a beautiful mind ever had such a gorgeous person to walk around as?! Don't think so!
Hello, I really like your thinking and articles, you have a very rich imagination. Can you tell me how to find such interesting, romantic content? I thank you very much How can I contact you? Do you have any other social media accounts, I'd love to chat with you