Monk Mode

Sense Walks, Good Habits and Gourmet Bathing

As promised, the Dionysian revelry of December has naturally unfolded into a fastidious Apollonian January. I have necessarily embraced this duality, this sensible balance, by immersing myself in what I affectionately call Monk Mode. Rather than rules of abstention, which many cling to in the form of Resolutions, Monk Mode is made up of four guiding principles, which I have rather loosely and temporarily adopted, but which have already improved my quality of life:

1. Intentional solitude

2. Devotion over drive

3. Depathologization of longing

4. Big time sensuality

The first speaks for itself, I think. Embodying the Hermit has been rather easy, as I really exhausted myself socially last month. It was delicious to do so, but I am a true introvert who can only moonlight as a party girl, so I am happy to cloister. The challenge comes in the Intention - what will you do with your one wild and precious January? Whatever your purpose may be, it helps to act with a sense of Devotion, which is where the second principle comes in.

There is a penitent pall that can come over this month. The traditional obligation toward productivity the New Year brings is often too much for me. January doesn’t feel like the right time for propulsive energy! It is deep midwinter, and - I was recently discussing this with a dear friend - as a woman, I am not meant to be engaged in hunting, but rather nesting, and because I am a woman alone with no husband or children to keep, and an artist, I am also meant to be engaged in practice. There is no force behind me, no push to achieve or create, but rather a reverent Devotion. Desire is extremely important. Please do not disregard this! And thus, Longing.

You may think the asceticism of Monkhood does not lend itself to longing, but I would argue that the men and women of the order are more connected to their longing than any secular amateur. The life of the monk is a life of not yet entirely consummated love for God.

“A garden locked is my sister, my bride,
a garden locked, a fountain sealed” (Song of Songs 4:12)

This Biblical passage is particularly evocative of the essential spirituality in longing. The garden signifies the monastic life; closed off on all sides from the distractions of the world. There is a distinct tension, an almost ecstatic eroticism to the restraint necessary in this adoration of “a garden locked, a fountain sealed”. Allow yourself your yearnings. Insist upon them. I am not preaching in favor of self-denial, but we are not meant to be granted all our desires. Some things should remain out of reach, so we can stay crazy.

Finally, since I am not in pursuit of a life of austerity, there is always space for Sensual pleasures. Being embodied can feel both luxurious and holy if you fill your days with pleasant acts of worship.

Ways to Worship

A Sense Walk

This image is from the book Sense Relaxation by Bernard Gunther, described as "A Book of Experiments in Being Alive." I really reconnected with walking as meditation last year, and this is great inspiration for a variation on that theme.

Good Habits

Every sect is defined and identified by its uniform, and it’s not all frugality and severity. Are you familiar with The Daughters of Charity of St Vincent de Paul? They were famous for their extravagant cornettes, which inspired nicknames like “God’s Geese” and "butterfly nuns". When, in the 1960s, it was decided that their habits should be redesigned, the job went to Christian Dior, who replaced their cornette with a kerchief-style veil.

My current habit is an immaculate white cotton gauze and lace nightgown, vintage from the 90s, which strikes the perfect balance between vestal virgin and wanton wench. Some good candidates: crochet collar Victorian, unique neckline on this one, embroidered 1950s sweetheart, Italian cutwork lace, heavenly Edwardian beauty.

Am also deeply passionate about the ivory crochet wool robe Angelina Jolie wore as Maria Callas in the recent biopic, which I could barely sit through but for the costume design. I will linger in my longing for this piece, but if you want to make a habit of it, the pattern is available on Etsy.

Gourmet Bathing

If you are the sort of person who turns up their nose at a tub, please scroll away from here now. I have always been and will always be a bath person. When I am feeling detached and apathetic, like nothing can move me, I know the shock of submerging my body in VERY HOT water will never fail to deliver a shock of pleasure. It is impossible to deny! Here are some tried and true bath recipes for a full ritual/sensual experience.

The Savourer (ideal for beginners)
to be taken before bedtime
INGREDIENTS
- Philosophy Fresh Cream bubble bath
- Lola James Harper Woody Office of Daddy candle
- tea of your choice (right now I am hyper-fixated on LOYD The Magic Experience Sweet Cherry)
Soundtrack: Nemos Dreamscapes - the most relaxing youtube channel I know
Drizzle a generous amount of Fresh Cream bubble bath under hot running water until it creates a fragrant froth. Light candle and play music, drink an entire pot of tea, read a novel if you desire, or simply sink into the steamy water and let your senses lull you into sleep state. After you lazily towel off, moisturize, spray liberally with a bedtime perfume, slip under fresh sheets and snooze away.

The Maverick (for proficient bathers)
to be taken in the morning with coffee like Tom Ford (who begins his day with a 430 am bath!)
INGREDIENTS
- 1 parcel Japanese Hinoki bath flakes
- Dr Bronners Peppermint soap
- 1 Dr Jart Brightening Rubber mask
- 1 tall glass iced espresso (if not a coffee drinker can substitute black tea)
Soundtrack: Sit Around The Fire Ram Dass / Democracy Now
Hang hinoki pouch around the faucet as the bath fills, allowing fragrance to flood the room. Apply mask and calm your nervous system with the wisdom of Ram Dass as you soak for 10 minutes. Then enjoy coffee as you catch up on world events and scrub your body with peppermint soap (the refreshing tingle will help you wake if the unabated horrors do not). Step out, wrap yourself in a towel, complete your usual skincare routine, stretch and begin your morning.

The Spartan (austere spa experience for advanced bathers)
to be taken when one seeks restoration of vitality
- 5 salt bath soak
- bentonite clay (this will make your tub look like a pond so if u are a wilting lily: beware)
- 1 bottle Gerolsteiner mineral water, chilled (Gerolsteiner is not merely a fizzy drink but extremely high in actual minerals and so excellent for maintaining the picture of robustness and feeling you’re at a german health spa)
- CBD / Kalaya lotion
Soundtrack:

Run a bath of warm water. Add one cup of salt soak. In a non-metal bowl, stir three cups of sodium bentonite clay with warm water until the mixture becomes smooth. Then, slowly pour this mixture into the bath. Soak for at least 30 minutes, and be sure to drink plenty of mineral water. After you rinse (you may need to rinse off in the shower after this soak) and towel dry, apply CBD lotion liberally anywhere you feel pain or tension. Or, for my teetotalers, Kalaya, which is mentholated and the best cosmetic approximation of a massage.

Reminder that the best path toward higher consciousness is to be of service. This year began with a great deal of loss and tragedy for many people. Here is a link to a full spreadsheet of GoFundMes if you want to support Angelenos affected by the fires.